The Secular State of Social Networks

Never before has the world been as interconnected as it is today. Entire populations all tangled up in an invisible web, one that holds them captive indefinitely. Each virtual string binds one stranger to the other making friends of some and foes of the rest. The virtual world where people feel safe under the false security of illuminated screens has provided the lonely being with a mirage, one that promises at the end of it the fulfilling sense of closeness and the death of loneliness.  

Virtual connections have stripped bare the essence of love songs, for no longer does one have to climb the highest mountain or brave the desert sands to be with the ones they love. A click of a button and a swipe of a screen will just about do it today. While the feelings of love have been subdued by the world of the virtual being, those of hatred have been amplified.

Those inhabiting social network sites have followed other inhabitants or created a following of their own, unconsciously forming virtual communities that speak the same language as they do. All of a sudden a lonely person’s thoughts are being reinforced by many other voices, suddenly a once ludicrous idea seems logical. Communities, even virtual ones, mean borders, boundaries, gates and armies. When thoughts are challenged, when lines are crossed, threats are issued and armies are deployed — such is the world we live in and such is the world we created online.

As much as people longed to believe that this world, created not of brick and mortar but of ones and zeros, will be the place where all voices shall be equal the reality is, a world is just a reflection of its inhabitants. The social network community is a place where codes of conduct do not exist, where people live without a governing law. A world that is an experiment in freedom, but freedom in the wild can get ugly.

The world of social networks lured the voiceless in with the gift of speech. It promised that voices, no matter how soft-spoken, would be heard. This granted wish soon revealed that not all voices have something to say and instead of a world of voices set free we experienced a world filled mostly with noise.

Angry voices grew louder filling the vastness of the virtual world, criticism turned to spite and a cold war between communities began. Those with spite lead a slew of their followers towards unsuspecting targets bombarding them with an onslaught of hate-filled words and accusations. Complete strangers enter into a war of words over the most trivial of subjects, imagine getting into a street fight but instead of a few spectators, there are millions. In this lawless but free world hate crimes are committed every day, it seems out of all the freedoms we prefer the freedom to hurt the most.

The virtual world was meant to be the great escape from the segregation that the real world imposed yet no sooner have they settled in than people managed to make a secular world out of the virtual. Freedom is required in a civilised world but so are the sense of social responsibility, fear of reprimand and respect for your fellow man, all of which the inhabitants of Twitter and Facebook seem to have left behind during their migration from the world of the tangible.

This world promised a place for everybody but it is not a place for everyone. Many loathed the falseness of it all and opted out, chose not to dwell in a place where many hide behind false avatars and speak in tongues that are not theirs. Where groups and sects are more prominent than any other place in the world.

After years of trying to make it a better place they understood that its ugliness was far more powerful than its beauty and committed social network suicide, deactivating their accounts and saying goodbye to it all. This is one choice the virtual world offers that the real world might not, to walk away when it all just gets too much.

To deactivate, disconnect, be free.

This article was published in The Gulf Today newspaper on April 1st, 2012.

Arabic version of this article was published in Al Khaleej newspaper April 1st, 2012: http://bit.ly/H5nD20

Facebook Junkie

"I am starting to feel like I have had a long and overbearing relationship with over a hundred people and counting."

The ‘Communication Era’ is what we have happily dubbed the times we live in. After being the most cumbersome, near-impossible feat for mankind it has now become one of the most mundane daily activities for us to communicate with one another. After tiny letters sent on the heels of doves, after men traveling through treacherous terrain and Graham Bell’s joy at hearing a voice in the other room answer his call. We now have it all at a click of a button, no sense of accomplishment included. You know the lot; emails, video-calling, and our latest cyber drug social-networking sites. They come in the form of Facebook, Twitter, Myspace and many more I dare not list in fear of losing you right here.

I would like to interject right now by stating that I am indeed a recovering Facebook addict. You may sneer at the word ‘addict’ but I do not use it lightly or even for dramatic effect. I have actually experienced all the stages and shown all the signs of a proper addiction. A couple of years back I curiously started using, which led to abusing and eventually heavily depending on and being purely addicted to what I call the ‘Peeping Tom’ networking site.

These sites are meant for reconnection, but what do we really use them for once we have connected with all the random and not so random faces from our past? At first it felt like the high-school reunion from hell. You mentally prepared yourself and became excited at the thought of seeing how the years have treated these people. You polished your profile and made sure it looks presentable and if possible, impressive. Later came the feeling of being obligated to accept ‘friend requests’, people ‘poking’ you and readily answering a barrage of questions about your life. Overwhelming I know, not to mention feeling a tad creepy after going through your friends’ photo albums and acquiring complete knowledge of their daily activities scrolling through their ‘status updates’. I might be somewhat old-fashioned but aren’t personal photos supposed to be conveniently saved on your hard-drive or safely tucked away in a box somewhere for you to sift through on a day when you feel life is just not worth it?

Updating your status seems to be a competition for the Facebook junkie, always looking for the best sentence to make his name pop on someone’s list. So basically a lonely drive can end up morphing into, a relaxing cruise and a boring stay at home into a well-deserved rest, on one’s status. Since when have we become so ready to divulge every detail of our lives and document every movement we make? A Facebook junkie would happily update his status every couple of hours, telling me, a person who really doesn’t care that they have ‘just woken up’, an hour or so later ‘had breakfast’, next ‘off to work’ and before you know it you have become so accustomed to this person’s routine you feel you could write their status for them. Status updates are not confined only to the user’s movements though, some are just mere facts of which my favourite are the weather updates. When all else fails mention the weather, it is a sure-fire when used in conversations why not Facebook? Status goes something like this ‘it’s raining’, it’s windy’, ‘it’s sunny’ dear God we can look out the windows ourselves!

Some people have actually surpassed the term Facebook junkie reaching a whole new level of insanity that I am afraid they cannot recover from. These people found in Facebook the means to live a life outside their own using the virtual photo albums as proof of their so-called self. Photo albums on Facebook have transformed into virtual shopping lists and restaurant menus. If they see an item they want they snap a shot and it’s posted on their page, thereby enforcing their style and earning the right to be called ‘trendy’. What is even more mind-boggling is the sheer amount of comments and responses these photos get, all praise of course, but who are you actually praising? The designer who made these products? Because the person who posted a photo of the item cannot really be praised for just posting right? Apparently they can. Facebook albums are void of faces yet full of Hermes, Graff, and many, many plates of food.

People are living lifestyles so far from their true identities it is actually frightening. Why do they feel the urge to keep others informed? Is it because they seek validation? Long for a connection? Or just because it is easy to do so? If information is indeed power, then aren’t we providing it to random people by readily updating every move we make and every desire we long for?

This over-share of information erases the curiosity shrouding people’s lives and in turn eliminates the mystery. I am starting to feel like I have had a long and overbearing relationship with over a hundred people and counting. They are with me all the time and although I haven’t seen their actual faces or been in their presence for years I am starting to feel somewhat crowded. I feel like we should take a break and allow each other some space. You see, it’s not you, it’s me. I just cannot handle knowing your every move and complimenting you on your folders of shopping, so let us take a breather for a while. And if you would allow me one last piece of advice, please, please leave the weather to the weatherman.

This article was published in The Gulf Today newspaper on April 18, 2009.