The Cyber Cemetery: A virtual headstone for each one of us

IF you can imagine a world before the Internet you would picture a place where your thoughts belonged to you alone, a world that is governed solely by your physical presence. To be heard in this world you were required to prove you had something worth listening to and only if you were talented enough, well versed enough and committed enough would your thoughts garner an audience. Through this meticulous journey towards making your voice heard you must have weighed and measured every word before it was uttered, every action before it manifested. Through this examination of one’s self you would’ve eventually etched your legacy, one that will remain long after you have gone. 

If this virgin world seems more like fiction than reality, you are probably one of the many who have grown accustomed to the ease with which sharing your every passing thought with the world has become. These thoughts will never know the struggle of being caged and your voice will never feel the strain of continuous shouting. This schizophrenic world requires us to live in two separate spaces, one physical and the other cyber. Many of us fail to make the connection between the two, losing ourselves in this newly formed identity we choose to project. In this world where I sit at my desk writing these words, people die, they pass on, people are mortal. In the cyber world we inhabit they do not. The immortality of one’s social media persona is real, for we leave behind years of comments, images and interactions that can never be taken back.

According to a report recently released by the research firm Internet Monitor, dead users of the social media world will soon outnumber those of the living. It estimates that at the moment there are some 20 million Facebook profiles that belong to people who have passed on. Through social media one becomes immortal, he continues to be. 

These sobering figures are worth reflecting upon if only to reassess our online footprint. Does the social media persona you control reflect how you want to be remembered? 

The spontaneity with which we tend to share our musings with the world makes our online person more prone to spreading hasty generalisations and at times even hateful comments. The false security the glaring screen provides allows us to let our ugliness through. And the fact that this haste, hate and ugliness will remain floating through cyber space long after you are able to defend it is reason enough to make us take a step back from our keyboards and smartphones. 

After meeting many of my social media friends in the world of the tangible I can safely say that for some, their online personas do not do justice to their real life selves. I have come to realise that the most critical of the social media accounts are the least verbal in real life and I can assure you that most social media trolls have no physical troll land to dwell.

As this cyber cemetery grows bloated with people’s endless thoughts, existing in a virtual limbo, we must do ourselves justice and try as best we can to be true to who we are. We must find a balance between our real selves and our cyber ones for, like it or not, it is the legacy we will leave behind. Make it one that you wish to be remembered by, one you would be proud of for it will be the shrine your loved ones will visit when their longing for you becomes at its heaviest. 

Your words will continue to live, make them count. 

This article was first published in The Gulf Today Newspaper, March 10, 2015  http://bit.ly/18x2SMN

Arabic version of this article was published in Al Khaleej Newspaper http://bit.ly/18x30fn

Facebook Junkie

"I am starting to feel like I have had a long and overbearing relationship with over a hundred people and counting."

The ‘Communication Era’ is what we have happily dubbed the times we live in. After being the most cumbersome, near-impossible feat for mankind it has now become one of the most mundane daily activities for us to communicate with one another. After tiny letters sent on the heels of doves, after men traveling through treacherous terrain and Graham Bell’s joy at hearing a voice in the other room answer his call. We now have it all at a click of a button, no sense of accomplishment included. You know the lot; emails, video-calling, and our latest cyber drug social-networking sites. They come in the form of Facebook, Twitter, Myspace and many more I dare not list in fear of losing you right here.

I would like to interject right now by stating that I am indeed a recovering Facebook addict. You may sneer at the word ‘addict’ but I do not use it lightly or even for dramatic effect. I have actually experienced all the stages and shown all the signs of a proper addiction. A couple of years back I curiously started using, which led to abusing and eventually heavily depending on and being purely addicted to what I call the ‘Peeping Tom’ networking site.

These sites are meant for reconnection, but what do we really use them for once we have connected with all the random and not so random faces from our past? At first it felt like the high-school reunion from hell. You mentally prepared yourself and became excited at the thought of seeing how the years have treated these people. You polished your profile and made sure it looks presentable and if possible, impressive. Later came the feeling of being obligated to accept ‘friend requests’, people ‘poking’ you and readily answering a barrage of questions about your life. Overwhelming I know, not to mention feeling a tad creepy after going through your friends’ photo albums and acquiring complete knowledge of their daily activities scrolling through their ‘status updates’. I might be somewhat old-fashioned but aren’t personal photos supposed to be conveniently saved on your hard-drive or safely tucked away in a box somewhere for you to sift through on a day when you feel life is just not worth it?

Updating your status seems to be a competition for the Facebook junkie, always looking for the best sentence to make his name pop on someone’s list. So basically a lonely drive can end up morphing into, a relaxing cruise and a boring stay at home into a well-deserved rest, on one’s status. Since when have we become so ready to divulge every detail of our lives and document every movement we make? A Facebook junkie would happily update his status every couple of hours, telling me, a person who really doesn’t care that they have ‘just woken up’, an hour or so later ‘had breakfast’, next ‘off to work’ and before you know it you have become so accustomed to this person’s routine you feel you could write their status for them. Status updates are not confined only to the user’s movements though, some are just mere facts of which my favourite are the weather updates. When all else fails mention the weather, it is a sure-fire when used in conversations why not Facebook? Status goes something like this ‘it’s raining’, it’s windy’, ‘it’s sunny’ dear God we can look out the windows ourselves!

Some people have actually surpassed the term Facebook junkie reaching a whole new level of insanity that I am afraid they cannot recover from. These people found in Facebook the means to live a life outside their own using the virtual photo albums as proof of their so-called self. Photo albums on Facebook have transformed into virtual shopping lists and restaurant menus. If they see an item they want they snap a shot and it’s posted on their page, thereby enforcing their style and earning the right to be called ‘trendy’. What is even more mind-boggling is the sheer amount of comments and responses these photos get, all praise of course, but who are you actually praising? The designer who made these products? Because the person who posted a photo of the item cannot really be praised for just posting right? Apparently they can. Facebook albums are void of faces yet full of Hermes, Graff, and many, many plates of food.

People are living lifestyles so far from their true identities it is actually frightening. Why do they feel the urge to keep others informed? Is it because they seek validation? Long for a connection? Or just because it is easy to do so? If information is indeed power, then aren’t we providing it to random people by readily updating every move we make and every desire we long for?

This over-share of information erases the curiosity shrouding people’s lives and in turn eliminates the mystery. I am starting to feel like I have had a long and overbearing relationship with over a hundred people and counting. They are with me all the time and although I haven’t seen their actual faces or been in their presence for years I am starting to feel somewhat crowded. I feel like we should take a break and allow each other some space. You see, it’s not you, it’s me. I just cannot handle knowing your every move and complimenting you on your folders of shopping, so let us take a breather for a while. And if you would allow me one last piece of advice, please, please leave the weather to the weatherman.

This article was published in The Gulf Today newspaper on April 18, 2009.